FELT TIPS - A Call to Submit!

Wanted: Office Supply Related Erotic Short Stories CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR NEW SPLASH PAGE PROVIDED BY THE EXQUISITE & TALENTED AMBER SKYE.

I, Tiffany Reisz, will be editor of FELT TIPS, an anthology dedicated to office supply-related erotica. Let your imagination run wild. No rules here except all participants should be at least old enough to use office supplies.

1000-2500 words please.

Deadline: February 14, 2012. That's Valentine's Day

Payment? The Glory

Release date? No idea. Publisher? No clue but I'll figure that out later.

Submit in a Word or a Pages doc to littleredridingcrop@gmail.com.

JOIN ME IN CREATING THE WORLD'S FIRST ANTHOLOGY OF OFFICE SUPPLY RELATED EROTICA EVER!

Love Always, Tiffany

P.S. Bonus points if you work in a 'shaking the toner cartridge' euphemism.

ADDENDUM (11-24-11) All proceeds will be donated to an organization that helps needy students get the school supplies they need. We won't publicly name the organization due to the adult content of the anthology.

2nd ADDENDUM (11-26-11) I think I found us a publisher thanks to the lovely Lucy Felthouse of EROTICA FOR ALL. Not only does the publisher come highly recommended by Lucy, but they've agreed to halve their fees because all profits from the anthology will be going to one if not two charitable organizations. Several Twitches have suggested giving money to both an organization that helps buy school supplies for kids and an organization to help struggling adults get the clothes, etc, they need to get back to work. Feel free to email suggestions to me at littleredridingcrop@gmail.com. All participants in the anthology will know who we are donating to and how much (I'll send out statements periodically) but I'd rather not publicize the names due the adult nature of the content.

Thanks again! I've already received three stories. My goal is 40. Contact me with any questions.

Also, special thanks to Allie Sanders who's agreed to be my editorial assistant.

FELT TIPS - A Team Awesome Production

Catching Miranda - An Interview with Miranda Kenneally about Catching Jordan

Everyone! Say hello to my friend and agent-mate Miranda Kenneally. THAT'S AN ORDER! Miranda hunted me down on Twitter after I signed with SuperAgent Sara Megibow and Uber-Agency Nelson Literary. Although I wrote BDSM Erotic Women's Fiction and she wrote YA, we found common ground with our shared love of hot, younger men. I fell in love with one of her characters. She fell in love with one of mine. And someday, I will slash the hell out of those two boys for the enjoyment of all our readers. Miranda was nice enough to give me some blog content in the form of an Interview about her new book CATCHING JORDAN.

I love it when people do all my work for me. And now...Miranda Kenneally! *applause*

1-First tell, introduce us to Catching Jordan.

Catching Jordan is the story of a 17-year-old girl who is captain and quarterback of the high school football team. She’s always been one of the guys because she’s afraid if she acts like a girl, all the guys will realize she’s a girl and won’t take her seriously anymore. Then this hot guy Ty moves to town, and he wants her position as quarterback, and he might want her too.

2-The original title of the book was called SCORE but you had to change that. Why is that?

It was thought that SCORE was too racy. But I’m okay with the name change. I like it more, actually!

3-There seems to be quite a bit of controversy over the portrayal of teenagers having sex in YA novels – what’s your stance?

My stance is that teenagers do it. They do it in real life, they do it in movies, they do it in books. And that’s fine as long as they know to use protection and understand the emotional implications of doing it. Parents should talk with their kids early on about sex and give them information, not shield them from it. As for sex being in books, I’m okay with it because I think books should tell the truth, not hide it.

4-Do you think it’s a moral decision to show sex or not? Or just a literary decision?

It’s a literary decision. If showing sex is important to the story, you need to show the sex. If it’s not important to the story, don’t describe it fully – just say the characters did it and move on. I think sex should only be in a story to strengthen it.

5-Have you had any experience with editors/publishers trying to either heighten or tone down the sexual content in your books? Or do they tend to leave it to the judgment of the author?

So far, this has not been an issue for me. But I wouldn’t be surprised if my editor asked me to tone down my next book. Haha!

6-Do you worry at all about parents or schools? Or do you care only about the opinion of your target audience?

I write books for teenagers, and I try to tell the stories they want to hear. If it ends up in libraries – great. If parents are okay with my stuff – great. But I’m not going out of my way to cater to anybody except for my target audience. I want to write realistic fiction, and sometimes realistic fiction gets banned and I understand that and am willing to take that risk in order to tell the truth.

7-Books for children and teenagers seem to be judged by different criteria than books for adults. On top of being entertaining and enlightening, YA novels seemingly also have to carry a moral to their stories. Do you agree with this?

No. A story is a story. It doesn’t have to have a moral. But it does have to have relatable characters and a relatable scenario. People learn and grow by watching other people fail and try again, not by being told some generic moral.

8-What’s next for Miranda Kenneally after Catching Jordan?

Two companion novels to Catching Jordan – both of which will probably be renamed, both of which will be highly scandalous! Also, I’m editing a book of letters from authors to their teen selves called Dear Teen Me.

9-Last question – do you think I could make it as a writer of YA Erotica?

If anyone could, it’s you!

Check it out, Miranda! I already made you a new fan. Maybe your book will finally cheer Honeytoast up. 

Miranda Kenneally is the author of CATCHING JORDAN, a contemporary YA novel about football and femininity, coming in December 2011. Other books include PLAYING PARKER (fall 2012) and BAD, BAD THING (spring 2013). Miranda is the co-creator of Dear Teen Me. The Dear Teen Me Anthology will be published by Zest Books (distributed by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt) in late 2012. She enjoys reading and writing young adult literature, and loves Star Trek, music, sports, Mexican food, Twitter, coffee, and her husband. Miranda is represented by Sara Megibow at Nelson Literary Agency.

God Will Give it to Prince - An Open Letter to My Boyfriend about Last Night

Dear Boyfriend, I know you're probably thinking your new girlfriend has a screw loose. Right before you went upstairs to read in bed, I was downstairs at the kitchen table, tweeting and trying to make my daily writing goat (yes, goat - I have writing goats, not goals - goats are cuter and less intimidating). And a few minutes later, you hear the sound of sobs coming from the vicinity of my face. You came downstairs to check on me and seemed skeptical when I told you I was fine, just tired. You ordered me off to bed and didn't seem thrilled when I said, "I'm coming...as soon as I finish this part."

Let me explain. When I told you the other day that I have no talents, I meant it. I can't sing or play a musical instrument. I have no artistic ability whatsoever. I've never shown any sort of aptitude for sports. People say I'm good at Zumba but that's code for "You're good at making an ass of yourself and not caring." All I can do is write stories. That's all I got. And when you only have one egg in your basket, you guard that goddamn egg with your life.

Last night prior to my minor breakdown, I tweeted, "When you're on deadlines, every month is #NaNoWriMo. It loses some of its charm. #firstworldproblems." I regretted tweeting immediately. It sounded as if I was complaining about people paying me to write books for them. What I meant by that tweet is that when you get a book deal and you're contractually obligated to produce works of fiction, the concept of #NaNoWriMo becomes something of a moot point. Every month I have to produce around 50,000 words. It’s not a fun adventure. It’s a job.

Before all writers who were destined for public consumption are born, some God, some angel, some demon reached out and tapped us on the forehead and said, "You will write lies that people will pay money to read." We are without a doubt the most privileged people on the face of the earth. People pay us money to read our goddamn sentences. Can you wrap your mind around that? You. Me. Our sentences. Our words. Shit we pull out of brains and our asses--people pay us for that? *mind boggles* Can you imagine a bum standing on a street corner offering sentences for spare change? Ludicrous, right? But that's what we are.

Last night in bed, you chided me for overworking myself. You said, "If I catch you crying at the kitchen table again, I'm going to take your computer away." I love you for caring that much about me. But I have to tell you a story about Michael Jackson so you'll understand…

Once upon a time a record producer friend of Michael Jackson's caught him in the studio in the wee hours of the morning. The producer said to Michael Jackson, "You can work on the song tomorrow. Get some sleep." And Michael Jackson responded, "I have to write this song now, or God will give it to Prince."

So despite exhaustion I write my books. If I don't, God will take them from me and give them to Anne Rice.

In conclusion…Yes, you’re right. I am exhausted. I am writing myself into the ground. I am trying to do too much in too little time. But I have been given opportunities unpublished writers would pluck out their own eye to have, and I know it.

But I am a writer before anything else, and you can have my computer when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands. ;)

Love,

Your Tiffany

RWA DAY THREE - Why It's Worth The Money.

Note the title of this post is a statement, not a question. RWA is fucking expensive. This whole trip will probably set me back 2K at least. And I'm a poor writer. I ain't no JR Ward here. Not yet anyway. But yesterday it happened. The thing happened that I came here for. I went to a workshop and I figured it out. Lightbulb moment. Eureka. Ephiphany. Whatever the fuck you want to call it. A book that had been giving me fits, a book I knew would be amazing if I could just figure out how to rewrite the third draft...I got it. And I wouldn't have gotten it had I not come here, crashed a PRO workshop, and listened to the speakers. But even if that hadn't happened, I've recouped a little of the cost just in the free alcohol I've gotten to drink this week.

So yesterday...up at 8:30. Alys and I went to the Not Another Sex Scene Workshop, which was fun. I'd never thought of labeling sex scenes before to keep them part of the plot of your book--First Time Together Sex, Reconciliation Sex, etc. Since I write erotica my labels might be a little different--The First Time Doing Anal Sex, The Hardcore D/s Scene, The Hate Fuck Scene, The Sex with a Criminally Underage Character That Will Get Me Tons of Hate Mail But If You Just Wait for Book Two It'll All Make Sense And I Know You Secretly Got Off On It So Leave Me Alone Scene. (That last one will make more sense when you read THE SIREN.)

After that workshop, I went somewhere...Can't remember. Bad sigh. Alcohol has killed many brain cells. There would have been an 8th book in my Original Sinners series but that last Rum & Coke killed it. ANYWHO, LUNCH. At lunch they did awards blah blah congrats congrats. Then Sherrilyn Kenyon gave a rocking keynote address. I've never read any Kenyon. Don't kill me. I was an English Major at the snootiest little lib-arts college in the South. I'm still trying to recover. But if her books have half the moxie Kenyon does, I'm sold.

Best part of the lunch, however, was sitting with my RWA Other Half Karen Hooper. So amazing to see Karen again. Next year in LA she and I will have a joint BDay party. The theme shall be "Party Like a Cock Star."

Then I attended a workshop where the lightbulb went off and all became clear. I shan't go into the boring details. Then drinks with Miranda Kenneally, Alys, Taylor Lunsford, Lynne Silver, Aislinn Macnamara. Alys had to leave a little early so I had to finish her drink after drinking my drink. Then I had a drink at dinner. So I was getting ready for the Harlequin Party at the Waldorf Astoria while drunk.

Party at the Waldorf was a blast. I think. More free alcohol. I came back soaking wet with sweat. I'm terrified to look at my dress. I'm sure I sweated some red and purple hair dye onto it. Good thing it only cost $12.00. Came back to the hotel and delivered a White Rose to Andrew Shaffer who seems to be staying in the bar this RWA. Cheaper than the rooms probably.

That's it! I'm having a horrible time sleeping. Too much energy and O.O moments. And booze.

RWA - This year, it's all about the booze.

RWA Day Two - Wherein Tiffany Gets Her Ass Kicked

Good morning, Cruel World. It's Day three here at RWA in NYC. Day Two was an odd mix of things. It began with a raging hangover that some misbehaving with my sexy roommate helped dispel. Then a wonderful opening session with Steve Berry, Diana Gabaldon, and Tess Gerritsen answering questions. All three of the speakers were fabulous. But bonus points to Diana Gabaldon for saying "blowjob" in front of 2500 romance writers. There was much applauding. After the opening session, Team Megibow adjourned to her bedroom for an orgy. I mean, for a team meeting. Next year I think we should get Team Megibow t-shirts. That wouldn't be weird at all. #weird

I tried the PAN retreat for about 30 minutes but the hangover and exhaustion had gotten to me so I came back to the bedroom for a nap. Sadly, I was too wired to sleep much so I got in about 15 minutes of dozing before waking up, staring at the ceiling, and stressing.

Why were you stressed, Tiffany? is the question you all are asking. I blame Andrew Shaffer. For those of you who don't know, Andrew Shaffer is a badass here in the RWA world. He's a book reviewer for the Romantic Times, a contributor to the Huffington Post, and a Harper Collins author. His book Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love is fantastic, by the way. You'll read it and feel super comforted to know that the supposedly wisest people who'd ever lived were all jackasses just like you and me. Well, the reason Andrew Shaffer stressed me out was because we were meeting last night for an extended hang-out for absolutely no reason other than we bonded on Twitter because we're both snarksters (is that a word? Probably not. Don't care).

First stop on what I'd call the "Weirdest First Date Ever," was Brooklyn where the lovely Emma Forrest did a reading from her book Your Voice In My Head and took questions. Ms. Forrest is one of actor Colin Ferrell's many ex-girlfriends so I expected someone wild and Irish like him. But no, she was lovely, had a gorgeous accent, a great sense of humor, and seemed delighted when I asked her what her family thought of her writing in great detail about her years suffering from severe mental illness, bulimia, and self-mutilation. Her father apparently read the book and returned it to her with his hundreds of changes--all grammatical. I love British men.

Next stop on the "Weirdest First Date Ever," was 38th Street. I'm not allowed to give out the real address. Why? Because it's home to a dungeon. A real S&M dungeon where a stable of beautiful Dominatrixes work. As the main character in my novel THE SIREN is a NYC Dominatrix (a funny, goofy, sexy, insecure Dominatrix, but a Dominatrix nonetheless), I thought a trip to the real deal would make for both good research. I booked an appointment and Andrew escorted me there.

PAUSE FOR PSA

S&M is not the dark scary thing people who haven't done it think it is. Normal people do it all the time. It's just role-play fun and games that's wicked sexy and a great adrenaline rush. HOWEVER, doing BDSM with strangers is not particularly safe nor recommended. I had Andrew with me who knew where I was and when I would be finished. If and when you choose to play with someone you don't know very well, make sure someone you know and trust knows where you are and who you're with.

PSA OVER

So I got buzzed up the floor where I was to meet the Mistress - Mistress Jeanette. I got off the elevator and we introduced ourselves. She wore a leather garter, black stockings, spiked heels, and tons of glorious burlesque make-up to match her Betty Page-esque hair. In other words, she was glorious. She took me to a small dungeon room which looked exactly as you and I imagine and S&M dungeon would look. A large wooden throne sat at one end and had metal loops on it for rope. A dozen different lengths of rope were neatly arrayed along the wall. Floggers, canes, whips, etc, all hung on hooks in precise rows. Small things made me smile in the room. I saw a can of air freshener and a box of baby wipes (wipes - not whips - they do not whip babies...that I know of). The Mistress and I talked for just a moment before she told me she'd leave and let me get undressed. I think this is a testing moment. A stranger tells you to take your clothes off and it's at that moment you know you're in for the real thing. I said fine. Cuz I'm me. She left. I got naked. She came back in and for a few more minutes we discussed what I was looking for. She was thrilled to hear I liked flogging as that's one of her favorite things. Flogging is an art form that requires a great deal of practice to perfect your aim and force. As most of her clients are married men who visit her in secret, she was glad to hear I didn't mind welts or bruises. She told me the house safe word - Mercy - and that she'd ask me "red, yellow, green" just to get a baseline early on in the session. Then she left. Since I'd requested bondage, she told me to put my bra and panties back on. Why? Rope burn is a real possibility during bondage. It's best to have on a layer or two. Then she left.

While waiting for the Mistress to come back, I started some slow heavy breathing. I always go through the same series of emotions when I scene with someone. As soon as I decide to do it or agree to do it, I immediately regret it. I become a bundle of nervous energy. It's all I can think about. But once the scene starts, my heart rate drops, my blood pressure plummets, and everything outside those four walls disappears. The Mistress returned in full Dominant mode and ordered me to a leather covered kneeler, not unlike something you'd find in a Catholic church. With a length of white rope she trussed me up with quick and impressive efficiency. The rope crossed between my breasts, over my shoulders, and bound my hands behind my back. She pushed me over the kneeler, pulled my panties off, and began to decorate me with welts. I'll spare you the gruesome details but needless to say, I was flogged and caned, whipped with a tawse which is a sort of wide leather strap invented to discipline school children in the 18th century. At the end of the session, the Mistress cuffed me to a chair and made sure I got a very happy ending to the scene. Orgasm over, the scene ended, she untied me, and we chatted a few minutes while I got dressed. She asked me where I was from, what I was doing in town. I told her I wrote BDSM erotica and had in fact, created Harlequin's first lead character Dominatrix-heroine. I gave her my card and she promised to look me up. She told me she know a lot of Connecticut housewives who wanted to write what I did. I told her to give them my email address and I show them the ropes.

She escorted me out. I tipped her a Jackson. Andrew waited for me right outside with a look of pure amusement on his face. I gave him the rundown on everything that happened. We grabbed dinner at a little Indian restaurant where I had to sit my sore bruised ass on a wooden bench. I felt happy and calm, almost blissed out. Anyone who has ever done kink knows the feeling. I can only liken it to afterglow but with a little personal triumph thrown in.

Andrew asked me if the experience had been worth the money. I said, "Oh fuck yeah. Just for the bragging rights alone."

Oh, and for these:

***

Special thanks to Andrew Shaffer for an awesome night of weirdness and general badassery. Buy his incredibly fun book Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love here.